Current position: sausage fest at work. Is that a front moving in or just the suffocating cloud of lazy ass testosterone?
Seriously, my ova-rage has been at an all time high lately. But for some reason, most men just make me want to like smack them and see if they cry. SERIOUSLY. NOT YOUR MOTHER. OR WIFE. SLASH GET OFF THE COUCH OR YOUR SAD PARTY AND STOP HARSHING MY MELLOW.
"Lists like this matter beyond just the media grind or the simple count. They can be self-enforcing, codifying positions of influence, not to mention provide prime schmoozing opportunities with the at the glittery party that comes with this list and a calling card for people who aren’t say, Ashton Kutcher. People like Chen Shu-Chu, as described by Ang Lee: A seller of vegetables in a stall in Taitung County’s central market, in southern Taiwan. Out of her modest living, Chen, 59, has managed to donate nearly NT$10 million (that’s $320,000) to various causes, including $32,000 for a children’s fund, $144,000 to help build a library at a school she attended and another $32,000 for the local orphanage, where she also gives financial support to three children. If Time, with all its access, is comfortable with extending the influential label to people like Chen as well as Barack Obama and Glenn Beck, it’s pretty good for women’s representation, as paltry a number as less than one third is.”
Hey, what about a witty title last week Horoscope Wednesday
April 20-May 20
This Mercury retrograde is in your sign, and it’s packing a wallop, pal. Mental and emo angst comes from too much fretting over your past and future, and not enough living in the present. Focus on now. (SFBG)
A little knowledge can be dangerous. I constantly meet people who have boxed themselves into tight spots by misusing their smattering of astrological information. There’s no better example of this than the superstition about Mercury retrograde, which is supposedly a bad time to begin anything new. During one such period last year, an acquaintance of mine decided to delay accepting a dream job offer as editor of a magazine. By the time Mercury returned to normal, the magazine had hired another applicant. I wish I’d have known, because I would have told her what I’ll tell you: Some of America’s biggest, most enduring Fortune 500 companies began when Mercury was retrograde, including Disney, Goodyear, and Boeing. The moral of the story: Of all the signs of the zodiac, it’s most important that you Tauruses don’t worry about launching new projects during the current Mercury retrograde. (Free Will Astrology)
There is a real possibility that too many obligations, even those joyfully accepted, could turn into burdensome chores. Be careful what you agree to do, and no matter what else, make sure you have fun. (Aquarium Age)
A quiet revolution is starting in the world of transportation.
Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood recently announced what he’s calling a “sea change” in transportation policy: He wants to make biking as important as driving.
“We’re elevating it to the point where as we develop new road systems, as we develop communities where people can use light rail or street cars or buses, bike trails and walking paths will be equal partners, if you will, and equal components of those kinds of transportation opportunities in communities across America,” LaHood tells NPR’s Guy Raz.
Right now, about 90 percent of the country commutes to work by car.
“We’ve put almost all of our resources into roads,” LaHood says. “If the commitment when President Eisenhower signed the interstate bill had been to high-speed inner-city rail, we’d be in the same position Europe and Asia are in today.”
LaHood is also floating the idea of a nationwide interstate biking system — the two-wheel equivalent of Eisenhower’s highway system.
Some advocates for drivers and truckers are worried that this new focus on biking could divert resources from roads. But LaHood says the Department of Transportation isn’t looking to take away anyone’s turf — just to provide alternatives.
“We know that 90 percent of the people aren’t going to be cycling to work,” he says. “But that opportunity and that option and that kind of alternative is something we think people want.”
Urr. Mazing. Seriously, sometimes I consider just dragging the bike with me on the CTA just because I miss riding it. But mostly I really like biking, especially home from work with a sweet tailwind.
“Sarah’s current dating M.O. is fairly lupine, an agenda that’s easy to advance with the help of the Internet, the sexual glutton’s new best friend. But her ultimate aspirations are quite a bit more conventional: One day she wants to give up this swinging bachelor’s life. “I’ve got this model of a household that’s probably sick to a lot of people that makes perfect sense to me,” she says. “What I want is to have a job, and have a life, and I want a partner with a job and a life to come home to, and a high standard of living, and I want us to have kids that go to school and do their homework and go on trips with their parents.” She smiles for a minute with the self-satisfaction of an athlete about to cream his opponent. “And, you know, at the end of a hard day, I would like to come home from work and have my wife suck my cock.”—Where the Bois Are - Ariel Levy for New York Magazine
Train your eyes on some best-case scenarios and positive expectations, Taurus. The more open you are to things flowing in your favor, the better off you’ll be this week. Fake it till you make it if you must. (SFBG)
Yes, I know that the bull is your totem animal. But I’m hoping you’re willing to expand your repertoire, because it’s a ripe time for you to take on some of the attitudes of the king of beasts. Consider this. The naturalist and shaman Virginia Carper notes that lions have strong personalities but cooperate well. They’re powerful as individuals but engage in constructive group dynamics. In many cultures, they have been symbols of nobility, dignity, and spiritual prowess. To adopt the lion as a protective guardian spirit builds one’s ability to know and hunt down exactly what one wants. Would you like more courage? Visualize your lion self. (Free Will Astrology)
There is no need to fight over whose needs are more important - all needs are important, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s desires can be satisfied. The willingness to compromise is the key to success. (Aquarium Age)
“she is the wind you never leave behind
black cat you killed in empty lot, she is
smell of the summer weeds, the one who lurks
in open childhood closets, she coughs
in the next room, hoots, nests in your hair
she is incubus
face at the window”—from “Loba”, Diane di Prima
Bread rising. Beans soaking. Grocery store. Steals on grapefruits. Shower. Puppy cuddling. Sweeping. Coffee. Cuffed corduroys. Carson McCullers. Evading work slumps. Brisk biking. Quiet sleepy rides back to the city. Cat Power and Sodom, South Georgia. The mother before my mother and seventy six years. Wheelchair laughter. Sleep, please. Again and again.
Stick to your guns rule #17: Books are sacred, and should not be absconded with or burned or donated to Goodwill. No matter what. Even with the accompanying sort of awful stomach shame swoop that oddly creates crouch as they sit on the desk at work waiting for a surreptitious, neutral and hopefully gracious return.
Plus there’s just not enough room for extra books in that tiny room.
Having recently faced the prospect of being with out my trusty Vespa, I have been reconsidering my stance on bikes. I really have nothing against bikes, I’m just not one on of those intense hipster bike activist.
Having said that, I wouldn’t mind riding a PUBLIC bike around the neighborhood this summer.
WANT IN CHICAGO RIGHT NOW. Oy. A hefty change chunk for a pretty orange spare velo? It WOULD compliment Billie Blue. More inspiration to learn mechanicry, too. Mechanics?
This is a great time to start something new. With Mercury going retrograde in your sign this week, you’ll need to double-dip on fact checks and make sure you’re very detail-oriented about whatever you do. (SFBG)
Taurus genius Irving Berlin (1888-1989) has been called the greatest songwriter who ever lived. Among his 1,500 compositions were iconic tunes like “God Bless America” and “White Christmas,” as well as scores for 18 Hollywood movies and 19 Broadway shows. And yet he never learned to read or write music. Was he embarrassed about his handicap? Not at all. He even bragged about it. He felt that having such a minimal grasp of the conventions of songwriting was an advantage, giving him the freedom to be extraordinarily original. Is there any way in which you’re like Irving Berlin, Taurus? Do you have a seeming limitation that is actually an aid to your creativity and uniqueness? Celebrate it this week. (Free Will Astrology)
Your natural reticence takes a backseat to spontaneous heartfelt expression. While this impulsivity may be awkward, much of what you have to say has a profoundly healing effect. (Aquarium Age)
[Somehow, all of these seem to be ignoring the white elephant in my brain.]
This song is Spring, and also Spring three years ago and five years ago. Driving in the flats in borrowed cars and scalding gigantic headphones and cool headscarves and smoking and sneezing. Spring feels sardonic this year. The thaw hasn’t softened me up yet, and I wouldn’t wait. Something about heat, and speed, and the precariousness of my bike makes me hard and sharp, lately, and I only hope this reflects in my calves and hipbones.
I’ll fake it through the day with some help from Johnny Walker Red…
Hey, SHOUT OUT to the chick on the fixie who accompanied me from the Loop ALL THE WAY to 18th. Wasn’t trying to race you, but you seemed to have your knickers in a twist. For every time I bike and feel so pumped about other riders in front and aside me, there has to be SOMEONE who thinks shoaling me inflates their huevos or something. Newsflash: I’m slow, and I’m okay with that, and please don’t crash, for the love of God.
Me:Let's just say that the ship took fucking sail. But i'm still thinking about setting it on fire as it goes out to sea. Also, that it is not always easy to spot a racist, but generally, they are straight white dudes.
Jessica:I'm going to need waaay more details there.
[Details, that need to NEVER be rehashed. Ever.]
Me:Like, do they put something in the straight white dude handbook about stupid pity party shit to say?
Jessica:Yes. I've seen the book...it... it's in there.
For serious today. I think, at this point, it is a tad too gracious to actually say, you need to back the fuck off and stay the fuck away. I’m not a fucking bridge or joke or rosary or beat up bag or minstrel girl.
“And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Frisch weht der Wind
Der Heimat zu.
Mein Irisch Kind,
Wo weilest du?
‘You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
‘They called me the hyacinth girl.’
—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.
Od’ und leer das Meer.”—
Even if you don’t know what to do next, this is the time for clarifying your boundaries, pal. Acting like Bully McBosserman will annoy the folks around you, and won’t help you figure anything out. (SFBG)
I got a spam email containing supposed words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama. “We spend more, but have less,” it said. “We have more conveniences, but less time; more experts, yet more problems.” It went on like this for a while. I was suspicious. It seemed to contain too many pop platitudes to have been uttered by the Dalai Lama. With Google’s help, I did some research and discovered that the passage was actually the handiwork of pastor Bob Moorehead, who resigned from his Seattle church under a cloud of allegations about misconduct. I urge you to make similar investigations of the ostensible truths you receive this week, Taurus. You may find discrepancies as major as the differences between the Dalai Lama and Bob Moorehead. (Free Will Astrology, or way to not be helpful, Rob Brezny)
Try not to let previous disappointment in yourself upset your equilibrium. Yes, certain issues may need to be addressed, but if you show up and do the necessary work, you can transform doubt into confidence. (Aquarium Age)